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 | The scientists here at Bristol-Meyers Squib have been working day and night to help a problem that every Liberal in America is having, and that's feeling fulfilled after being told to "eat sh#t". | |
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| We have had a medical breakthrough that can only be called a miracle! We have developed "EAT sh#t AND DIE". | |
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| It's a dream come true! | |
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| If you're a Liberal, you can't afford to pass up this offer! Call 1-999-EAT-sh#t within the next ten minutes, and we'll send you a one month's supply absolutely free! Operators are standing by! Call now! | |
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| "Thank you for calling Eat sh#t and Die! Would you like to order the George Soros special?" | |
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