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 | Let's see whats on TV. | |
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| WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU A SHOCKING NEWS REPORT! CHANNEL 5 SHOCKING NEWS WILL NO LONGER BE AIRING! | |
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| Yes folks, you heard correctly, Channel 5 Shocking News is going off the air. Me, Ted, and everyone who works for Channel 5 Shocking News will be fired. I imagine we will go on welfare and use the money for crack binges until we eventually completely forget who we are. Now on to Ted with the news. | |
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| Thanks Dan. I've just received an important update that the Channel 5 Shocking News block will be replaced with the First United Church of Money Tele-evangelist hour. Now on to tonight's top story. In a recent study, it has been proven that women over the age of 65 are nine times more likely to die by tripping over a baby than by being eaten by a dinosa- | |
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| And the Lord said: "Give us all your money!" You heard the man, folks, now give us all your money or you will be banished straight to the burning fires of Hell! | |
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| Hallelujah! | |
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