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 | Well, my team and I looked into Hoiberg's personal life just as you asked. I'm sorry to say, there's nothing there. He's a model citizen. | |
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| No one is a model citizen. That's just a phrase that is disconnected from reality. Like telling someone "I love you." | |
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| Uh, anyway. We turned his entire life upside down. I know you had hoped there might be a latent scandal we could unearth that would spell his demise but there just isn't. Would you like us to plant something? | |
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| Wait! You could do that? Oh that would be awesome. Do you have menu? I want to choose a really juicy scandal. One that would discredit him, his family and that whole damn university. | |
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| We do have a list. It is a prix fixe menu, if you will. For $1.3 million you can choose from any of 12 scandals. | |
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| Hmmm. Can I look at the rumor and innuendo menu instead? I'm having my Subaru fixed and I'm paycheck to paycheck at the moment. | |
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