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 | The story good so far but on page 10 paragragh two you need some (ominuos) actions like there going into the basement to see if there is a back up generator | |
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| Ya but im trying to make it as (mundane) as possible to make it more scary like it could happen to anyone | |
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| That will just make it (mediocre) at best | |
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| I do not want it to (manifest) what is going to happen | |
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| OK my favorite character is the (mercenary) who owns the house and hunts down the monster trying to get the kids | |
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| Ya I like him to | |
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