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 | Hello, I'm Ted Cople. | |
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| And I'm Joseph Mahmah, reporting for News Channel Twenty-Eight. | |
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| Our top story tonight takes place right here in our own neighborhood, where police say- | |
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| -Ted, this just in! You're a giant douche bag! | |
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| ...We. We ah, seem to be having some technical difficulties. | |
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| Ted. Ted, I'm gettin' fired... Ted. I slept with your wife. | |
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