| Tom stopped by a church after a wedding. All he wanted was a glass of punch! |
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 | ...And the cancer will be visited upon thee, not once, not twice, but thrice! | |
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| Thrice?! I don't even know what that means and it scares the bejesus out of me! | |
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| The book wan't very long but the message was powerful. |
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| The cancer will be centered on your nether regions. Acts that were once pleasureable and cathartic will be erratic and painful! | |
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| I don't know what cathartic means either. It scares the bejesus out of me too! | |
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| These things never end well! |
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| You are royally screwed! So sayeth the book! | |
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| Why doesn't he shut his wine hole?! | |
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