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 | Citizens of this rather fair and timeless city, it is with great shame that I and the rest of the Good Morning News crew am to inform you of an impending crisis. A farmer in a strange little town has crafted flesh eating chicken, however the chicken can also wield a gun | |
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| That's right folks, a gun wielding chicken. If you have never seen a gun wielding chicken the news team would happily display one for your viewing pleasure, however we also lack a photograph of an authentic flesh eating gun toting chicken. | |
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| Our advice for those of you who are currently phoning in, please stop contacting the station. My co-worker is talking with his blind and stoned mother, telling her he loves her dearly, same as all of you should be doing. | |
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| If you do encounter this murderous chicken, fire first. Or offer yourself as a living sacrifice. We have vowed to always stay on the air even in light of a social disaster, so I leave you with a pre-recorded segment featuring two harmless animals that will indeed bring back fonder memories of a better time. | |
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| Bro, I think I understand the meaning of White Rabbit. | |
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| I could really go for Funyans. | |
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