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 | ...and in today's Bizarro News... |  |
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 | ...today in Cleveland, a cult of weird Ohioans have declared today the first day of Spring only moments after the first "official" sighting of a UPS delivery man wearing shorts. |  |
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 | Cut! Nice job, Suzie. |  |
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 | Wow, what a bunch of losers! At least this is less lame than that guy who ate that groundhog and claimed to see its shadow in his poop. |  |
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