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| ...and in today's Bizarro News... | |
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| ...today in Cleveland, a cult of weird Ohioans have declared today the first day of Spring only moments after the first "official" sighting of a UPS delivery man wearing shorts. | |
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| Cut! Nice job, Suzie. | |
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| Wow, what a bunch of losers! At least this is less lame than that guy who ate that groundhog and claimed to see its shadow in his poop. | |
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