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 | Colonel, we tracked you down in the jungle because your 11 secret herbs and spices are critical to national security |  |
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 | Fiddlesticks! I thought my faked death was a good enough ruse to keep me safe forever! |  |
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 | I'm afraid I can't divulge my secrets. |  |
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 | Patriot act b#tch! |  |
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 | I'm also afraid this country has caught "teh gay" |  |
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