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Happy Camper by leannan on 04-01-2008
Do you prefer to cook your food on a portable propane stove or over the campfire? And when you go poop in the woods, do you poop in a hole and then bury it, or do you just let it lie wherever it lands?
Campfires are the way to go. I hate it when sissies in f#*king 2006 Mazdas go camping and bring enough equipment to attempt an ascent of Rum Doodle. You'd like that book, it has rum in the title and is about the funniest thing ever written. f#*k the fact that no one's heard of it. Usually when I need to sh#t, it's a violent need to do so after eating raw flesh, and I have no time for digging a hole.
You see, I often hunt with a spear, naked with body paint, and sometimes I'm so hungry that I eat it on the spot, even if it isn't dead yet, using my teeth to savagely rip through it's pulsing veins, then I ejaculate on the remains of the carcass while shouting "Top of the Motherf#*king Food Chain!" in a scene of such carnage and depravity that Caligula would throw up.
Make love to me.
Well, I do this after of course thanking it for feeding me, and the Earth Mother for providing it as part of the circle of life.
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