| We find our new uncouth hero trying to solve the murder of Spalding......... |
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 | what are the facts sir? | |
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| well, we know last night Spalding was in his penthouse suite entertaining a lady guest. around 1:15 Spalding was strangled by pantyhose | |
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| he took an awful fall 35 storys up to the ground, where his body got hit by 2 cars, 1 18 wheeler, flattened by a steamroller, and a cement mixer, which was dumping cement. | |
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| it seems the assassin had this clearly planned. | |
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| i will do my best sir | |
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| god help us all | |
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