| What have YOU been reading? |
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 | Harry POTTER! Choke! Look out, Dumbledore! | |
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| The BIBLE! Choke! Look out, Christ! | |
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| What have YOU been reading? |
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| The NEWS! Frank O'Holic, noted boozehound, found gutted and squeezed into a glass! Film at eleven! | |
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| The PATHOLOGY REPORT! Liver removed, shaken with grenadine and blended with crushed ice for a summertime pick-me-up! | |
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| What have YOU been reading? |
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| Frank's ENTRAILS! | |
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| Your RIGHTS! | |
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