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Hot Cross by T_Emery_Lolsworth on 03-20-2008
Okay, we all know what happens today: twelve stations of abject suffering and despair, and then Jesus Christ dies in agony for the sins of mankind.
And we mark this harrowing event by grilling spiced bread with fruit.
That's why the human race rules: God Himself can incarnate on Earth, preach love and peace, and absolve us all of our sins by dying in extreme pain on a cross...
...and we celebrate it by heating bread and painting eggs
We like to imagine Jesus, delirous on the cross, seeing visions of the future of Easter and shouting:
YOU STUPID f#*kING #&@!S THAT WASN'T THE f#*kING POINT FOR THE LOVE OF DAD WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT CHOCOLATE HAS TO DO WITH ANY OF THESE YOU f#*kS. AND WHAT THE f#*k IS WITH "GOOD" FRIDAY HOLY f#*k I f#*kING HATE YOU ALL
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