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 | Ma, I gotta go. The inter-faith prayer vigil for Brandstein's soul started like ten minutes ago. | |
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| Chris, we're going to be late. Matt Brandstein won't be saved without the collective powers of our prayers. Hurry the f#*k up! | |
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| Dear Lord, please save our holy brother from the grips of depression that has taken him away from our flock. | |
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| Xenu, please help Matt Brandstein find his way to an E-Meter. So that he may undergo the auditing he needs to become clear. | |
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| God, please! Answer my prayer to return Matt Brandstein safely and I promise to stop snorting cocaine. Honestly, I'm serious. | |
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| It's during these religious moments of silence when it dawns on me that the good book is a big bore, not to mention chalked full of clichés. People can't actually believe in this stuff! | |
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