| In the heart of Citytropolis, Lassie Remington gets ready to break shocking news to the entire librarian community worldwide! |
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 | I'm here with Les A. Suming, head librarian at Citytropolis Central Library, where an evil force has turned this unasuming man into a furry forest creature. Tell me, Mr. Suming, did you get a good look at the culprit? | |
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| Unfortunately no, Ms. Remington. But if you were dressed a little more scantily and had some sort of mask on, it could have been your twin. But I'm sure it wasn't you. She had a maniacal laugh and called herself Lady Reporter. That's all I can remember. Tell me, do you have any carrots? | |
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| Meanwhile, Guy Brock, who has just landed a job at Princeton Library, discusses the news with fellow librarian Dewy Decimal. |
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| If only there were someone, like that dreamy Guybarian, who could save us from our furry fate. I'm worried, Guy. Guybrarian hasn't been seen since he miraculously saved 45 children from the burning Vancouver Mall Library. I can't help but be scared. | |
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| If only, Dewy, I could tell you who I really am... But for now, I must keep on being Guy Brock, the new librarian with a heart of gold. I can't help but wonder, will my secret past prevent me from my overwhelming urge to save librarians, libraries and patrons thereof? | |
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| Only time will tell.... STAY TUNED FOR NEXT WEEK'S THRILL-RIDE OF AN EPISODE!!!!!! |
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| Guy? Are you OK? For a minute I felt like I was in the reality section and you were checking out. Anyway, would you like to go out some time for drinks, I mean drinks that we don't order on the quad. I always feel strange about sipping champagne on campus. | |
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| Uh! Yes! Of course, Dewy. I'd love to. Sorry, Dewy. I was lost in the "first-day jitters" aisle for a second, I suppose. Don't worry about this "Lady Reporter." I'm sure Guybrarian will find her and stop her. (At least, I hope I, er, he does.) | |
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