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Fred Merkin, Drunk Reporter! (#3) by internetslacker on 01-04-2006
Proper Lawn Maintenance
Allright, you panty-clad lilac bastard, if you don't give me a real news assignment I'll (hic) smash your smug face in!
Fred, you don't scare me.
....
Do as I say, or I'll take a dump on your lawn this evening while your horrified daughter and wife watch me. And I've been eating bratwurst.
(sigh) I better do what he says, I work hard to make that lawn look good...
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