| An address from the Oval Office... |
|
 | My fellow Americans. As your President, I have chosen to make this spontaneous announcement... | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| ...You will find any other problem in your life is now insignificant. The First Man came home late last night, and smelled of beer... | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| ...consequentially, I have launched attacks on the Russians guaranteed to result in nuclear retaliation. Blame him when your kids' hair falls out in clumps - if they even survive. | |
|
| I hate the middle of the month. | |
|
|
|
|
|
