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 | I thought I was the only alcoholic professor on campus. | |
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| Far from it. In fact, all 57 of us are meeting for drinks later. | |
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| Just a warning--after a few drinks, I always recite the monologues of Lady Macbeth. | |
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| I myself sing multiple versions of Oscar Mayer weiner commercials. | |
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| I'm asexual, but maybe we can attend |
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| I want you with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. | |
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| I'm asexual, but if fondue and a game of ping-pong excites you, I'm your man. | |
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