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 | Today is the FIRST day of the REST of YOUR LIFE...Carpe diem! |  |
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 | OH YEAH? Well, MY "day"... and my whole freakin' LIFE has been nothing but pure HELL... |  |
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 | ?? grumpy pants?? |  |
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 | Don't listen to "Mister Grumpy Pants"...He's a FAILURE because he didn't buy my "Positive Thinking for Dummies" 124 CD's program. Operators are waiting to take your order... |  |
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