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| Alright. 3, 2, 1, action! | |
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| Hey kiddies! I'm Drunken Joe, here to announce today's contest winner! | |
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| I mean, that's what I was hired to do. But instead I'm going to tell you that whatever show it is you're watching is crap. Please change the channel as soon as I stop talking. | |
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| You aren't supposed to masturbate on TV. | |
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| But I am. That's how hardcore I am. | |
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